I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
