I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
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What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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