From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
