Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
