my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
