You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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