Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
