Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
