3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
