bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
