You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
