I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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