Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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