Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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