Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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