"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
