I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
