Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
soo... how was my night?
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