So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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