Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
