OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I AM VODKA MAN
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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