so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
