too bad you live with your parents still
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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