there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize