dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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