oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
