Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
