I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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