You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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