so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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