Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
