so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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