hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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