He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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