I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study