I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.