so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode