Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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