My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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