He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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