The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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