Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
