problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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