hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
