There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
