You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
