i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
do herpes really smell.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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