i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Even my vagina gasped.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
