stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
