Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
