I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
