okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
