Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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