just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
