I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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