Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That was an excessively violent trivia night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
