He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
