Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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