I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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