There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
