Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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