i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
