Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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