Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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